8 Unbelievable Ways That Stacia Got Her Groove Back (Sorta)

I cried for the first time on my trip on Wednesday. Although I had an incredibly stressful morning, little sleep and difficulties getting to the airport…I held in the tears then (this says something…I’ve definitely grown on this trip!!). I had just arrived in Belgium and I decided to have a coffee and enjoy some free wifi to relax a little before walking 30 minutes with 2 backpacks on to the hostel. Poor me, right? Well this is actually supposed to be funny. I cried today in the Starbucks while I WATCHED THE SUPERBOWL HALFTIME SHOW.

I’ve done some very American things over here such as eating Pringles for breakfast but you gotta admit that crying in a Starbucks while watching the Superbowl Halftime Show is probably the most American thing I could do. Little did I know, I would be shedding far more tears the following days as I explored the beautiful city of Gent, Belgium.

This is gonna be one of those boring, diary-esque posts BTW so if you’re looking for something less emo maybe go hit refresh on Instagram again. My trip looks much more perfect on there.

So to make a long-story short, I’ve kind of been a mopey zoo lion the last few days. Gent is like one big fat beautiful reminder that I’m very alone over here.

I talked to Spencer last night on the phone for the first time and I couldn’t hold back the tears. When I read the book Wild recently (hey book club!) I remember the main character thinking a lot of the thoughts I’m currently experiencing. It’s like I’ve put myself up to some crazy challenge but now that I feel like I’ve proved I am “capable,” I keep wondering, can I go home now? Why am I wasting my money away to live in a foreign area without any friends? Spencer pointed out that I probably won’t know the answers to these questions for a long time. I’ve just been really confused and lonely. But let’s be realistic here. Let’s make some lists.

Reasons I Should Be Sad

1. I cannot be with my friends, lova, or family for 3 months (with a few exceptions)
2. I’m sick of wearing the same 5 outfits and ugly North Face every day because I’m cold
3. I have no privacy in the hostel and I just want to lay in my bed naked
4. I can’t make a home-cooked meal and all of the cheap food here is bread or cheese or potatoes and I’m bloated as hellll
5. I have no friends
6. The shower is only one temperature and only stays on for 30 second intervals. Due to the privacy issue I am always a wet sticky mess when trying to get dressed in the shower that I just bathed in
7. I have a cold because I live in a room with 15 other people’s germs
8. Laundry took me like 4 hours to do one load and it smells hella strange. I don’t know if I even purchased detergent because the packaging was all in Dutch
9. I watched a bunch of sad YouTube clips including deleted scenes from Mrs. Doubtfire and Robin Williams always makes me sad
10. Hulu isn’t available in this country and I just want to watch the episode of The Bachelor where Olivia gets served

Ok that’s enough. Looking back, how fucking pathetic are those problems? I mean the only semi-legitimate one is that I am away from my friends, lover, and family for 3 months. Well and the Robin Williams thing.

So today, following that nice chat with Spencer last night, I decided to get my shit together and stop being a mopey lion. Here are the 8 outrageous ways I got my groove back (ehh… I mean I’m working on it. I still cried during a romantic comedy I watched tonight but I think that’s acceptable).

1. I slept in until 11:30, the latest I have slept in since my going away party when I drank way too much.
2. I ate a big old waffle with Nutella on it for breakfast with no regrets. But let’s be real I have done this every day since I arrived in Europe.
3. I got some design back in my life. I visited an awesome design museum featuring this exhibit:
4. I listened to great music as I walked to the museum. The sun was out, so that made everything even better.
5. I stopped at a fun little cafe for lunch and confidently ate by myself. Independent woman.
6. I took some cold meds and put vaseline all over my lips. Much-needed.
7. In a very Stacia-manner, I ran. Forever. Like I said it was a beautiful day and I felt shitty for sitting indoors for a good chunk of the last 2 days. I started running with no plan and didn’t stop…for 9 miles. I do this frequently if I have a bout of unhealthy days or lots of anger or something. I just run a lot to kind of reset. Plus, I miss exercise. I’ve been walking a fuck-ton but exercise was such a huge part of my life before I left and I think I needed a lot of it back in my life at once.
8. I watched a chick flick and shed some tears.

Here are some fun places I found while running around:

Structure in the middle of a big park I stumbled across

Practicing living in a cave

I’M A NEW WOMAN!

Nah, it’s a work-in-progress. But I think it goes to show that no matter where you are (I’ve obviously been mopey at home, too), your perspective has a lot to do with how you handle things. Spencer helps me a lot, but he’s not here nor should that be his job to always cheer me up. It’s easy to get in a slump when you’ve been going and going and then suddenly have a break. I’ve been non-stop busy since the minute I arrived in Europe and Gent was basically like “hey chill the fuck out.” It was good and bad. I got to take more time with things here. I got to think more here, read more, write more. But I also got a little lazy here. Some normal people might call that “relaxing” but if you know me, the minute I relax is the minute I start overthinking. I think I need to allow myself to relax more but I also need to know when I’m starting to slump and just force myself out the door to do something.

So, I guess some of my questions ARE slowly being answered. I’m here to learn about myself, my needs, my strengths, and my weaknesses. And that’s definitely happening whether I like it or not.

Post-run bathroom selfie. Feelin’ good. Also, the watch is my key to my hostel room. Spencer was like, “did you get a new watch?” when we were Skyping. I thought it was sweet that he asked so politely thinking I actually would wear this thing if I didn’t have to. <3

Vaarwel!